She Sleeps Beside Me

Chapter 1: Pills

# She Sleeps Beside Me

I rarely sleep alone.

Not that I have much choice in the matter.

Every night begins the same way. At eleven, I lock the apartment door. At eleven fifteen, I check it again. Then I close the curtains, turn off the hallway light, and place a glass of water on the table beside my bed.

At midnight, I swallow the pills.

Two are supposed to be enough. Most nights, I take three.

I tell myself they help me sleep, but that isn’t true. Sleep stopped being a form of rest a long time ago. Now it is simply the place where she waits for me.

Still, I take the pills. I remove my socks, fold them beside the bed, and lie beneath the blanket with my hands resting over my chest.

I am a creature of habit.

Then again, so is she.